# trying to calm down from overdose of adrenaline

I have a really hard time when people confront me, or want to debate, or if some conversation even sounds kind of aggressive. I don't mean I get confronted all the time for things I've done wrong, but like if someone wants to take me on in an issue, even if it's just to know what my thoughts are on it.

Ok, so like today:
My husband's office mate is a christian speaker/teacher. He goes around to various christian churches and speaks on biblical things, I guess. He's part of the very protestant, and evangelical, and nondenomenational kind of christian tradition that is very common here in America.

*tacklehug!*

Within the last year we have actually left behind that kind of tradition, and are soon to be baptised into the Orthodox church. (Im so happy about this!) I have a whole story about how it's come about that we are converting to Eastern Orthodoxy, but I won't go into it right now because it would take too long to try and explain. But basically, Hubby's office mate likes to give him a bit of teasing over this - saying he's joining a cult, etc. There are plenty of theological differences for all the similarities one would find between the various christian "denomintations". (By the way, Eastern Orthodox see itself as existing pre-denominations, which after studying a bit on this I do agree is true. But anyway...)

So soft and sweet and ZOMG *Tacklehug!*

So I took lunch to Hubby and sat with him in his office that he shares with his co-worker. So of course, some of the questions about our current spiritual path come up. I won't delve into what exactly we talked about, but I mostly just wanted to note that I tend to get very stressed out during situations like this.

shhhh, tacklehug gently

I don't like feeling that I'm debating, or having to defend myself, or prove a point. I suppose that after a few of these kind of sessions I would probably relax and just go with the flow of the conversation, but I don't like being put on the spot. I'm not a great speaker, and sometimes I'm barely articulate. I forget main points. I stammer. I can't breath. My heart races. I get very hot in the face.

It's just so not comfortable for me.

So tired from all the tacklehugging =)

In the end, I think the convo went alright, and it seemed that Office-mate was genuinely curious about my experience. Neither one of us tried to change the other's point of view, I surely wouldn't try this with anybody. But I did feel like there was a bit of an ulterior motive in his approach of conversation. Needless to say, most protestants have a very strong view on how one can do 'christian-ing', if you get my meaning. Orthodox church says, We are here for you to be your guide, as a mother guides her children. She teaches fasting, but the Orthodox don't say that one is going to hell if you don't fast enough for example, which is I think what a lot of protestants think we do.

Eh, whatevs.

Anyway, it's been hours since i got home and I'm still not recovered. My adrenaline rushes are always either On or Off, and lately it seems like somebody lodged the switch in the on position. My body's Fight or Flight is way too sensitive. So now I'm feeling sick, slightly shaky with a bit of a headache. And I'm not sure how to deal with this side of my chemical imbalance.

Ugh, enter stress eating. lol

nomsnomsnomsnoms

xOXOx