Yesterday was full of activity for me. It didn't start too early but the first thing I did was take some tincture. I don't think I could have done all that I did without having taken it. By the time the end of the day came around I was pretty spent psychologically and emotionally.
So after lazying around in the morning, I made a quick run to our local gym to see about pricing for membership, but I wasn't there for longer than 15 minutes. Then I came home, felt guilty about not taking the boys anywhere, got them dressed, and we started off for our local museum. Alas, it was closed until Wednesday, so we quickly decided we'd check out Goodwill and all their costumes on sale. It was incredibly busy and crowded. In all honesty, I have no idea how I was able to navigate all of that. Plus, my kids were very energetic and talkative and loud. They were good boys, just a lot of immediate energy that I had to just try and let bounce off me. After Goodwill, we were going to hit up Barnes & Noble for my eldest and middlest to get some books they've been asking for, but at the last minute I had to tell them I couldn't do it, that my brain was just exhausted. So we started off for home when we passed a Dairy Queen and - ohmergersh - we plodded through the drive through for some of their traditional chocolate dipped vanilla cones. Yummmm. Thank God I had a stew still sitting in the fridge from the day before, and Hubs was able to warm that up for everyone. It was nice not cooking but securely knowing I didn't have to because something was easily available that wasn't junk food. So after dinner Hubs and I traveled to the local gym together, this time to actually purchase a family membership. We took a tour of the place, then came home.
I haven't taken any tincture today. It's like my anxiety is just there on the surface and I can't quite get a clear enough head to actually go over to where my tincture is and take it. It's stupid but just something that happens to me.
So what is my anxiety all about today?
Everything, I guess. I knew this was probably going to happen. The day after a really busy day, psychologically, mentally, emotionally demanding day is a crash and burn. Yet, I still think I have to fight it or something. This is where my anxiety comes it. It won't just let me BE tired, or take the day off mentally, or just relax without judgement. I think because the end of the night will come and then I'll be faced with the reality that I didn't' do anything productive, and will still have a list of shit to do for the next day, etc.
