Fast forward to the end of the week and i decided to join a third choir, where this lady sings on a regular basis. She seemed a little moody at one point but i tried not to read into it.
I have a couple good friends who come from trauma cptsd and we get along fine. Perhaps because we understand our issues. When i meet this lady - as damaged people often do - we bonded. The first thing she asked from me was to pray for her. And i did. We quickly saw similarities in each other based on what i know of as trauma.
But i can tell this friendship will be more challenging because she is in denial and in magical thinking that she will heal. Meanwhile i have to hear about problems and deal with the bad moods? This may be hard for me… At one time i was talking about something and she asked we not talk about it any more. So clearly going the route of recognizing trauma responses, using the word trauma, and anything not to do with praying will make her uncomfortable.
I will not be able to offer anything that I’ve learned except a hearing ear, i think. She wants to believe God will heal her. That is fine but not how we work through reality and pain. And it is magical thinking which, i believe, will only lead to frustration and stagnation, unless she can get to a point where shes mostly apathetic. Not a healthy thing, imo.
She did reject a link that i sent her from pastor Tim at ReAct, which is fine. I only threw it out there as a suggestion anyway. And she wanted to tell me Thanks But No Thanks but was again too, regretting a bit that she had overshared stuff. I wasn’t surprised by anything she said. But perhaps felt bad that i would not be able to share what I’ve learned because, as she puts it, God is just going to heal her. Meanwhile, she sometimes seems miserable, believing she’s under constant spiritual attack. Does she believe God wants her helpless???
My own trauma responses and tentative stability could be shaken here. So i don’t know what to expect. I know I’m feeling like i dont want to get too close and just start backingaway, but it might be a little too late For that. Then again, maybe she’s feeling the same.
