I am currently typing this from my bed on my iPod , and I can tell you it's not an easy task to pluck letters so slowly and try to form eloquent thought. It's hard enough at a keyboard where brain and fingers often play tag with each other. So I will try to be brief.
I am currently in a rage mode type depression. (That is what I call it.) But a consistent reoccurrence for me is a huge anxiety that revolves around the Internet .
During this phase of depression I'm more likely to be weepy, to research things online in a frenzied manner, and look up news articles in which I tend to obsess over the worst of the worst types of stories. Currently this is where I'm at.
I'm also likely to feel a desperate need to delete all my online social media, and I've already written about this.
What do I do? I'm asking the internets, an empty room where my little therapeutic blog lives. Why can't I fraking just do it? What the hell am I keeping them for? I have a need to be online but I don't really have a need for so many accounts, so why do I keep them ?
On the one hand, I think I'm afraid ill miss out on something, some vital information or event. This is the thing [they ] want you to believe. I'm also misguided in thinking I can find a community online. I think for me, I have too much expectation and also can't focus on one topic. It's hard to find people like you if you're always switching issues. Not that ANY of this shit matters.
I feel this applies to my inability to really jump into minimalism . Heck, I've barely made a dent or effort for the same reasons essentially. There is an anxiety (fear) stopping me. So somehow I need to find my way past that.
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