Tomorrow

I feel like until things somewhat normalize in terms of husband's schedule and rush-about environment, I'm just not going to be able to relax.

My anxiety, or stress, has me pretty paralyzed. My house is also an extreme wreck. I will try my best to clean the kitchen and dining area tomorrow. Because of the way our house is laid out, I feel that as long as this section is clean I'll feel better about the rest of the wreck.

Then, I'm going to play at the piano. It's been a long time. So long that I'm essentially having to learn all over again.

When I was young I would pull all nighters playing at the piano. It was quite an escape for me.

Recently I've been feeling so much regret over not pursuing music.

(Never listen or be influence by discouraging "elders" who tell you that you'll die of starvation if you go into "art". You'll regret not seeing what could have been.)

At least, it would have been a way for me to cope emotionally, or have some kind of outlet. As it is, I really don't have anything.

I wonder if depressed people are more prone to be artistic in someway, or have that desire to be artistic. Maybe desire isn't strong enough a word. Maybe it's something of a necessity for us, in order to survive with a clear head.

Bah, Im talking out my butt.