Things became so stressful for me that I wasn't leaving the house unless I absolutely had to.. as in to pick up the kids. Most of the time I was so full of anxiety that I'd just go to bed or sit immobilized. Shit was frustrating and still is.
I just realized I don't even remember what the heck I was writing about on this blog... I should review my own posts. =o.O=
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| Itteh bitteh kitteh says I Love You This Much |
One of the latest things I've been doing to help with the anxiety (which pretty much became as bad a problem as the depression) has been medicinal cannabis. I'll write a bit more about that later as I'm still fairly new to using it and finding how to get the best results from it. Right now I'll say that it makes me feel similar to when I was on Geodon but a bit more functional. It still knocks me over and That, I don't like. But it does help. Again, I'll write more about it over the next several months.
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| Pffft, typical |
Last evening around 7:30 ish I looked outside and marveled at how pretty it was. Golden soft sunshine and a cool temperature. Yet I still couldn't be bothered to make my way into The Nature. I'm not entirely sure why this was (isn't that the heart of chronic depression, that there's rarely a definable Why)... I wanted to go outside I just... didn't have the energy or desire.
Oh, I know I just contradicted myself - I wanted to go outside but I didn't want to. Well I don't get it either.
This made me more depressed.
I feel a bit better this morning and plan to go outside with my morning coffee and toast, promptly. Hopefully this will help with my moods as I find being inside perpetuates a depressed state. I also plan on doing a bit of exercise later on if I can find a moment's peace.
I realize this is basic stuff but depressed people sometimes need to be reminded.
❦
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