It’s been a week on meds. I’m feeling a little bit lifted but still unstable, still depressed.
I’m concerned the journey out of this pit is going to take a while. I saw a Twitter post where one guy said it took him 6 months to feel better. Maybe it was 3… now I’m not sure. That’s still a ways.
I don’t have the resilience to keep trekking on through school like this. Now I’m contemplating leaving and taking time to heal up and focus on my physical health too. Turns out I’ve been regularly assessed with stage 1 hypertension.
The thing I’m not happy about is waiting a whole 365 until i can resume the class. Plus i would miss out on voice lessons. And I don’t even know if i would want to continue with choir, which is concerning. I must really be depressed and not thinking very well because the singing has been good for my moods.
I suppose i could continue to learn theory on my own. But how realistic is that? I’m certain that i need structure and accountability, and it’s really hard to muster all that by myself.
There are many legitimate reasons to take time off. I just want to make sure I’m not underestimating my ability to push through. Genuinely, it’s been hard for me, and i need to learn how i need to learn. Unfortunately i feel forced into a system that i don’t really thrive in.
I could focus on piano which would help a lot of my understanding of the theory material. It’s really a matter of pulling out of this “funk”.
I think i should make a decision soon. The deadline for registering for lessons is tomorrow. And I don’t feel close to an answer.
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