calm kitty hugs

My anxiety has been so bad. Even though I regulate booze pretty strictly Im scared I will truly fall into alcoholism, since I do use it to chill tf out. But i need it every day almost. I feel so unbalanced. Im looking for help but it takes for fking ever.

im literally off to the bathroom now to cry not bcs im sad, but bcs this energy is clawing its way out of me, & i guees its the only release i have atm. Maybe i'll feel better afterwards. But then my husband just thinks everything is fine, no problem. Nobody understands. 😑