Feeling unstable.
Had a bunch of bad energy, frustration, anger at stupid people today. Came home and did some meditation. Came inside to eat. Feeling “sad”, tears. Feeling shit about myself i suppose. Dumb. Stupid. Slow. And like there’s so much stuff to do and i don’t have the time, & I’m overwhelmed. So i feel bad about not being more organized or better at getting things done, or faster at my homework. All the thoughts came at once.
Currently agonizing over whether to go to school to use piano but i don’t want to be inside. Should i work here at the computer out the piano? My piano area is a mess, it’s cumbersome to work in, and the computer binds me to the table. I WANT to go outside and study but it’s hot and i think i need a piano or computer. I literally cannot decide, cannot stop churning the question, and I’m literally making myself sick.
Thinking about class tomorrow. I feel sick to my stomach.
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