I’ve been super depressed with the heat and no ability to stay cool. My coping mechanisms have been big time frustration and anger.
Was desperately feeling not just like running away but even separating from my husband, blaming him for this misery im in. The misery, in my mind, was a huge pile of disappointment after disappointment that was coming up from the past, feelings of being trapped, of being fully dependent on him, of no way to help myself out of this situation, all of it building and building.
I woke from a nap feeling very hot and frustrated to not have control over my own body that i ended up throwing a fit in the bathroom, slamming my body into the door repeatedly, & tearing down the shower curtain.
I feel like an effing crazy person.
Today he came home for lunch and visited us, bringing burgers. It was really nice to see him. And i suppose i felt less abandoned.
I still feel really fragile and unstable but it’s an exhausted unstableness. All i do i cry now when i feel overwhelmed.
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