Therapy is going in a weird way. I've never had therapy quite like this. It seems like a lot of it is just meandering chit chat. It's back and forth as well. I know a lot about my therapist. Is that normal? I actually hate feeling like Im just blabbing on and on in no focused direction. This is probably why I don't chit-chat and small talk very well. It takes a lot of energy to talk about meaningful things. I'm not the kind of person who feels that small talk is easy or beneficial. Why fake it?
Anyway, I think perhaps she's trying to get at the root of my issues in an organic way. If we talk about whatever is on my mind, we'll most definitely get to the heart of my problems eventually. Then I think she tries to break up the intensity with more chit-chat. I guess that's good? I don't even know, and feel like I'm just along for the ride. I'm trying to stay positive about it.
I started...cue the music: dun dun dunnnn...EXERICISING! Ok, it's only been 2 days, but this is the summer of action, remember. In the past I might have done some Zuzka workouts with the intention of getting effing ripped and fit, haha. But then I'd go all turtle again. I actually used to follow her when she was with Bodyrock. That was how many years ago already? And I haven't actually accomplished jack crap. But I'm really wanting to do this properly. I'll be honest: I'm not motivated, I'm not excited, but I'm hopeful and just really want to feel better all around. So - I'm just going to say it - Ima do this.
No, I haven't been taking my vitamins very regularly. I should walk into my bedroom and get them but I'm pretty much done for the night. My husband and I are currently sleeping apart. I have a little day bed in the living room so I can get away from his snoring. I also have been having some back pain from our bed. And I just sometimes need my own space. I wish I could have my own room, but a bed in the living room will have to do for now.
It's been 2 or 3 weeks since the kids have been out of school and we haven't left the house. My fault there. All me. So I'm going to try really hard to take them out to the lake tomorrow. Or the water fountain park. Or my favorite creek an hour away. I feel kind of guilty, but it's also been 113 degrees. I grew up in southern california where my summers of 90 degree weather were normal for me. I don't think I've ever been able to psychologically acclimate to inland norcal valley summer temps. I'm not meant for heat.
Kids have been good so far. They bicker and I sometimes roar at them like a bear for doing stupid shit they know they shouldn't do... like wrestling and running the house. But, as I mentioned, its been over 100 degrees and their wiggles need driving out somehow. I've actually enjoyed having them with me all day, even if they do stress me out. I think I've missed them being in school all day everyday. However, when hubby gets home my brain is done! So that's the hard part.
Ok, off to bed.
Sorry, no kitty pics. I'll beat myself harshly like a house elf.
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