Wednesday hump

Went for a nice walk today along the river with my SAHS (stay-at-home-son). We've been having some trouble regarding his education and I was feeling a bit stressed. He is also prone to anxiousness so I thought it would be better to get out of the house and try to enjoy some sunshine. I do feel less depressed right now. So that is nice.

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I've been neglecting my exercise routine. It's a sort of mish-mash of activities that are meant to be done in the house.  It's been feeling pretty good to do them and be fairly spontaneous and not so rigid about "regimens". Previously, I was going out in the evenings and walking for a couple of miles in the dark, but I eventually stopped doing it because walking at night just isn't very enjoyable. I imagine I'll be switching things up as I get bored of one thing and move on to another.

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The exercises I do are formated like a circuit and done with dumbells. I looked up a few kettlebell exercises or just adapted exercises I was already familiar with. It's always shocking how terrible my body feels the next day as a result of doing these exercises. Terrible, but in a good way.

I grow weary of never being by myself. Today, as SAHS and I were pottering along on our walk, I really just wanted/needed to turn off my brain. I need to turn off my brain quite often, especially when I'm trying not to slide into an anxiety attack or depressive thought spiral. But there he will be, wanting to discuss things that are only very interesting to a child and of no importance (such as how Gandalf could have possibly died, or some superhero's new weapon), or mention things that I feel obligated to respond to because that's what a caring adult should do so as not seem rude. It's very mentally exhausting.

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My little ones have recently come home, I've put the beans on for tostadas later, and I feel that I'm already trying to gather myself. My little ones hit me hard and fast both at once. If you've ever had multiple small children who are VERY energetic then you'll know what I mean. Essentially, I end up burning out very quickly when I'm around them.