the first post

well, I've started another blog. But this one is desperate. I have lots to vent about. It may seem cruel. It may seem like a pity party. Maybe I will meet other moms like me, or parents who can offer their insight. We'll see.

I'll just say it right now:
Autism sucks! I don't give a fuck who you are or what you think you know about autism, but unless you have a child with it, or have taken care of a child full-time who has it, then you don't know what the hell you're talking about when you refer to it.

Whew, that's out of the way.

Yes, I have a child who's autistic and another one who is also on the spectrum, though not diagnosed as "capital A", as I've heard it called. There are good days, there are bad days, there are days when I just want to run away and never come back. There are days when my wonderful husband wants to run away and never come back. But we're dealing with it. We're learning as we go, and failing over and over. We're pleasantly surprised on some days, and kicked in the ass by everything the next. It's a fucking roller coaster that we're just tired of...exhausted. How we're going to get through the next several years is a question I often ask myself, but I can't even imagine how I'm going to get through the next fucking week, let alone the long term future.

Oh yeah, I should probably warn you that I swear a lot when I'm upset and highly emotional. Since this blog/journal is about very emotional stuff, I expect it will be filled with expletives. Although I will try to tone it down because I know it can be very distracting and aggressive to some, I make no promises; I need this outlet.

...to be continued...