anxiety and driving aimlessly

the kids have been off this week from school. (easter break)
i've been worried about it for a while because i know how crazy i get and how crazy they get.
thankfully and quite accidentally my husband has been home on his vacation, so his presence has been a huge lift to my mood and spirits and confidence.
but even still, my anxiety attacks have been frequent.
had to tell my husband i was feeling very much on the edge. i was gasping for air and trying hard to hold it together.
he decided we should get out of the house, which usually makes me feel better.
we don't go anywhere specific (being around people in a mall or store is not someplace i want to go when im in that state).
anyway, we spent a lovely time being outside and driving around the countryside. it was beautiful. the air was fresh. amazing what nature can do.

April

There are a lot of good things happening at the moment. Amazingly none if it really makes a difference to the mind.

Have you had a day like that? Nothing matters...not that you don't care you just don't have the energy to be fussed about anything. And not that it's a good thing, but you could see your house on fire and just kind of go "Oh, look at that. My house is on fire...hmm."  Sounds silly but there you have it.

I'm afraid to come out of my cave today.